My journey began when I found out I was pregnant with my first baby May 27th 2006. At this time I was living life just like I was raised. I was not aware of anything outside of conventional medicine or even what organic was. My husband and I were planning a hospital birth just like most births in America are. I had no questions, I was plugged into the Matrix. I was a woman who just trusted everyone, had no questions and went along with what I thought I had to.My sister, who at this time was a midwife in training let me know I didn't have to give birth in the hospital, there were other options. She gave me some resources and I started to dig. The first 4 months of my pregnancy my husband and I fought about home births, vaccinations and circumcision. He didn't feel comfortable with any of those ideas. He too was plugged into the Matrix. He told me his dream was to run out to the waiting room and share to good news with our family and friends.."It's a boy!" or " It's a girl!". To me that wasn't a good enough reason not to look at other options. After many words exchanged and tears shed my husband stuck the white flag up and surrendered. I quickly found a midwife in the area and we started the home birth planning process. Even though my husband and I both decided to have a home birth, he still was hesitant..I kept reading, asking questions and researching, while he sat on the side lines and watched. I felt very alone in this process, he wasn't fully on board with our decision.
This would be not only the birth of our first child, but it would be the birth of who I was created to be. Grey's delivery into this world was the first step down a new path for me. Since then I haven't looked back! Now we planned a home birth, but I was transfered to the hospital. It was a long, traumatic experience for my husband, Grey and I. I took her birth as a learning tool. I didn't feel like I failed b/c the birth wasn't what I wanted it to be. Her birth story gave me the courage and strength to make sure that my second baby would not end up coming into this world like she did.
I came to my sister with this idea of a blog. I wanted to create a safe place for other women and men to come to. My dream is to have a support system, a community for others. This is a place to give parents ideas, tools, recipes and resources on topics like circumcision, vaccinations plus much more. With the support and love from our family and friends, Steph and I can do that!
May you enjoy this authentically raw and organic mothering journey of two sisters.
I came to my sister with this idea of a blog. I wanted to create a safe place for other women and men to come to. My dream is to have a support system, a community for others. This is a place to give parents ideas, tools, recipes and resources on topics like circumcision, vaccinations plus much more. With the support and love from our family and friends, Steph and I can do that!
May you enjoy this authentically raw and organic mothering journey of two sisters.
I'm glad to know your story Shannon. I like how you called conventional ways being plugged into the "Matrix" :) I'm curious what the complications were for you having to go to the hospital? Could they have been avoided knowing what you know now? What made your husband decide to be more supportive the next time around if the first birth was so traumatic?
ReplyDeleteHope,
ReplyDeleteThere was continuous interventions from my midwife and her assistant. I called her, she came and she stayed. She not only stayed in my house, but she and her assistant intervened almost every 30 minutes whether it was checking my progress, giving me tinctures to speed up the process...I threw up everything they gave me so clearly my body didn't need it. There was such loud small talk between the two of them it was hard to really be present to my labor. I felt like my body wasn't going fast enough for them, I wasn't "progressing" like they wanted me to. It really was like I was in the hospital. At one point the midwife and assistant fell asleep on my couches while leaving me laboring in the birth tub...an hour later my midwife jumped up b/c she heard the very low heart beat of the baby from the doppler the assistant was using. I believe the tired midwife was a result in over booking herself. She came from a birth the night before and she was exhausted...she made very poor choices and with that I was transported. Instead of my midwife calling a back up midwife which they do if they need help, she chose to wait and wait making poor choice after poor choice. She called the back up 15 minutes before we transported. WHY?? I don't know.
The complications could and were avoided knowing the stuff I know now. My second birth was at home and without many interventions. This was b/c I called my midwife (a different one) when I was ready to push. She came and 30 minutes later Phoenix was born. I think the real important thing is to choose your midwife carefully. My second midwife was so high strung and constantly in my face once she got to my house I think if I would have called her any earlier I potentially could have had the same birth experience I had with Grey. There are good midwives and not so good ones out there. You really need to do your homework to get a good one. I didn't both times, well I thought I did, but I didn't.
My husband liked being at home, it felt natural and relaxing for him. He hated the hospital and all the people, lights and noise...funny b/c the only thing missing from the home experience were the lights :) Right after Grey was born he told me he would like our next baby at home! I was shocked, but grateful. I think it was because he felt in control at our home. He felt like he could participate and was really a part of the process. We were able to really connect as parents at home.