As Christmas came, I promised you all that my sister and I would be blogging like crazy...OOPS! Sitting down trying to come up with something to say to all our "followers", all I can think of are all the hardcore mommy's out there. The mama's who blog every day, who get paid to blog, mama's who start a business while raising small children. The mom's who seem to have the time to do it all...SUPERWOMEN!! It has taken me over 4 days just to attempt to finish this post, I am no SUPERWOMAN. I don't know how women do it? To not only find the time, but to then muster up energy to put creative thought into any extra curricular activities. I must have missed that class that taught women to be able to do it all while having their sanity still intact!
I know for myself just raising two toddlers and taking care of a house and all that, that entails wipes me out! To find time to cultivate relationships, spend time with my husband, take time for myself, let a lone anything else...WHAT, what is that? I pour all of me into my children and my home. When I get a moment I just want to sit and disconnect from life. Sitting in a clean, silent room is all I want. NO, "mommy", "honey can you", "wipe"... silence, to just be able to be me for a brief moment.
I look at these women a little envious and jealous that they can do all that they do. Each day I feel as though pieces of who I am are being lost. I never pictured motherhood/stay home mamahood so isolating and lonely. I knew I wanted to be a stay home mother when the time came. I feel as though that is a huge gift you can give your kids and I wanted to do that for them. No one told me that unless you are SUPERWOMAN, you would feel worthless daily.
In our culture, we go,go go! Every man for himself mentality. Time is money people. I look around at the men and women who have fallen victim to this and I have to admit...I am one of them, or I was. What happened to "it takes a village to raise a child"? Mothers,grandmothers,great-grandmothers, neighbors all raised each other's children. Family values were different. It wasn't about "who had the biggest or best" it was about spending time with, taking a moment to. I believe we need to SIMPLIFY our lives. Our consumer culture has sucked us into this dilution of thinking happiness comes from things. That our kids are loved if we buy them..xyz. We are good parents if we make lots of money and can provide the best way of life for our children. WHAT THE HELL? We really have bought into that lie? I am reading a book called Living Simply with Children: A Voluntary Simplicity Guide for Moms,Dads, and Kids Who Want to Reclaim the Bliss of Childhood and the Joy of Parenting by Marie Sherlock. This book has awakened me to what really matters, our children. Simplicity is what we all really need in life. It's a process, but if we can go back to the drawing board and reconfigure what family and raising children really should look like, I think those tired, warn down mothers and fathers will slowly become alive again. Those over stimulated, over stressed children will be able to experience what childhood should really be. You don't have to be superwoman to be a good mom. You can put the pieces back together because you haven't lost who you are... you have just been misguided. Reclaim the bliss and the joy of parenting! Having kids and being a mother, to me has become a job. A job that I have to do not that I want to do. How I feel people view mothers (especially stay home moms) are that we have it easy. We don't work, we just watch soaps all day eating bon bons. I have been swallowed up by the mainstream way of thinking, that being a mother is easy and I should be SUPERWOMAN. If I'm not, I'm not doing something right. I say SCREW mainstream and I choose to reclaim this amazing opportunity to mold and shape these beautiful children. Being a parent is not a job, it's a gift. We need to get back to that mentality. Going one step further, we really need to support each other. It takes a village, people!
I may never be that mother who blogs every day and I'm ok with that. My sister and I created this blog to share not only information on key parenting topics, recipes and how to save a buck, but we also created this blog to share with others our struggles and our triumphs of mothering. This is it! Raw and real. I know we said we would be doing this daily, I look at my life and am so overwhelmed, I don't know if daily is going to work right now. I hope you all stick with us because we are passionate mothers who care, just not SUPERWOMEN :)
Shannon. You got it right. Motherhood is an honor and a noble calling. One of my favorite quotes is this "The sphere of the mother may be humble; but her influence, united with the father's, is as abiding as eternity. Next to God, the mother's power for good is the strongest known on earth." This thought gives me the energy and motivation to be faithful in the daily repetitive rounds of cooking, cleaning, training, etc. Here is another quote that I've actually put to a song..."There is a God above, and the light and glory from His throne rests upon the faithful mother as she tries to educate her children to resist the influence of evil. No other work can equal hers in importance. She has not, like the artist, to paint a form of beauty upon canvas; nor, like the sculptor, to chisel it from marble. She has not, like the author, to embody a noble thought in words of power; nor, like the musician, to express a beautiful sentiment in melody. It is hers, with the help of God, to develop in a human soul the likeness of the divine. The mother who appreciates this will regard her opportunities as priceless. Earnestly will she seek, in her own character and by her methods of training, to present before her children the highest ideal." NEXT TO GOD THE MOTHERS POWER FOR GOOD IS THE STRONGEST KNOWN ON EARTH...NO OTHER WORK CAN EQUAL HERS IN IMPORTANCE! Amazing. And with that thought..my kids are calling me ;)
ReplyDeleteI've followed a lot of mommy blogs over the last few years---the ones that make you go "WOW! How does she do it all!" I've struggled so much wondering what is wrong with me. BUT I am seeing a little bit of a trend---many of them are coming out talking about the depression they've been struggling with and the striving and feeling that they need to do it all. Some of them are crashing and burning. I've decided (and maybe I am being way too synical) that if it looks to good to be true---then it is! We all have the same amount of hours in a day. If we see moms who are doing EVERYTHING---they're no doubt skimping on SOMETHING. We can all use our imaginations as to what that may be.
ReplyDeleteI like that you said--it's not a job, it's a gift. I need to change my thinking too.
Great post! Right there with you! Btw, in Mexico where we are---it is SO still the village raising the kid deal. The whole fam still lives together--they just build on another room to the house or the property. It makes me wish I lived with my mom sometimes! ha!